Feel like a dirty pervert when you’re caught looking at porn? You need the Sex Top 2000. It’s the first laptop designed specifically for viewing porn.
Hit the panic key once and a spread sheet covers the screen. Hit the panic key twice and the Sextop 2000 shuts down but not before deleting your trail of internet filth. Hit the panic key three times and the Sextop will self destruct.

The Sex Top will be hand delivered to your home, concealed in an ordinary fruit basket. In order to fully insure the privacy of your identity, our dedicated messengers will then commit suicide. Unlike the model 1500, the Sex Top 2000 includes a lotion dispenser.

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